Future Weapons - A Time For Drastic Measures

Motorcycle training courses, safety gear, helmets, highly visible orange and yellow reflective vests, loud pipes and NTSI campaigns to help cagers notice motorcycles riders have all failed. It's not helping drivers see bikers on the road. I am fed up with it! I have locked myself up in my secret lab called "Cageworks" to come up with a couple of devices that may help. Remember that any great cause will require great sacrifice! It's time brothers and sisters to focus on the real problem!

The first defensive future weapon I came up with will deal with cell phone users and idiot drivers in general. Helmet Mounted EMP! For those of you who have no idea of what EMP (Electromagnetic Pulse) is electromagnetic radiation which basically fry's all electronic based equipment rendering it useless.



Yup. Cell phone users and cager-ragers beware. All a bike rider needs to do is look at you and press the handlebar mounted button. The helmet mounted mini-dish will effectively shoot a focused EMP your way, causing your cell phone to basically fry in your ear. If the rider decides he/she really doesn't like you, they might just point this bad boy at your engine compartment and pull the trigger. The EMP will fry your car's electrical system. Whoo hoooo! Time to call AAA sucker.


After some long hours in the lab, I think I have come up with my crown jewel. I think most of the problem is that cagers just feel completely safe in their cars. If you take away that false sense of security then maybe, just maybe, they will start paying attention to what the hell they are doing! If you spread the word and let it be known that if you accidently hit a biker, that your ass is grass, it just might make people a bit more aware of what the hell is going on around them while they are driving. However it will come at a cost. It is well documented that a few have always sacrificed for the benefit of many. I figure the word will get out quickly after only a few encounters with my device. Soon all cagers would much rather prefer to plow a brick wall or tree than to breath on a biker.



LOL! Whew!...If I am going down I'm taking your ass with me. And here you thought I was just kidding. I could be, I dunno? Wanna find out?